By OREVA GODWIN
I know the women association will sharpen their cutlass to behead me for this. But hold on, my honourable gender. The earlier we admit this truth, the better for us all.
If truth had a gender, manipulation would wear a wig, lashes, and carry a handbag.
Men, naturally, are not manipulators. They learn it over time until it became part of them. But women? Manipulation flows through us effortlessly. We do it without training, without intention, sometimes without even knowing we’re doing it.
Men, on the other hand, are natural gaslighters. They gaslight for a living. They can make you doubt your sanity even when you clearly know you’re right. But somehow, you still find yourself apologizing for a crime you didn’t commit.
Women don’t wait for situations to escalate to the level of gaslighting. No. We are smarter than that. Women admit they’re wrong quickly when caught, then switch gears into emotional manipulation. Tears, panic, rolling on the floor, calling friends, threatening to harm themselves, even when deep down, they know they are not sorry and will likely repeat the same thing.
A woman can manipulate you into believing she’s the ideal woman. And that’s why it’s funny when society calls us the “weaker vessel.” Weak where? Women are the most intelligent creation on earth. We don’t confront men for leadership positions because deep down, we know where the real power lies.
A woman who masters her manipulative gift is a force both at home and at work. She studies people. She knows when to strike, when to withdraw, and when to get into your mind. Manipulation requires emotional intelligence, and women wield it with precision.
Men, on the other hand, are slow creatures. Ask me why? Because men don’t know how to get into the mind of a woman, they only get into her head. A man may try to manipulate you, but he gets caught every single time without even realizing it.
Women talk. And when you hear how a woman describes her partner’s antics, the gaslighting, the lies, the mind games, you’ll realize men play the game loudly. Women play it silently and strategically.
Men gaslight your reality; women manipulate your emotions. And emotions always win.
A woman will manipulate you simply to get what she wants. She might act jealous to make you think she’s deeply in love. She might flare up when another woman calls you just to remind you she “owns” you. But a man? His jealousy is natural, territorial, derived from being possessive and seeking inherent benefit. A woman’s jealousy is often performance, strategic, activated to keep her influence strong.
A skilled woman can finish you with praises and compliments. She knows men love to be worshipped. She knows praise is the fastest route to a man’s heart. Even when the money is small and she’s not impressed, she will thank you like you just bought her a house, because she knows what the praise will produce next.
Women and guilt-tripping are like five and six. They weaponize your love for them.
“If you love me, you’ll do it.” They nag, complain, cry, and emotionally exhaust you until you give in.
Confront a woman about something she did wrong and watch her transform into the victim. Suddenly, you’re the villain. You’re insensitive. You should have known better. Then come the tears, rapid-fire and strategic. We call it sense and smartness; men call it manipulation.
But the strongest form of manipulation women wield is sexual manipulation. Deadly, precise, and highly effective.
Some women will strip, tease, lead you to the edge of paradise… and leave you stranded at the gate. They let you see and touch the promised land, but entry is denied until conditions are met. Many men — great men — have fallen this way.
Others use sex as currency in committed relationships: “Baby, buy me pizza on your way. I’m waiting in that Victoria’s Secret lingerie you got for me.”
And just like that, men run errands they never thought they would.
Men manipulate with anger and gaslighting; women manipulate with tears, charm, and seduction.
Anita wanted a man who could provide and Daniel was a perfect picture of it. But she had to be smart. Not all rich men are givers and she was not ready to give herself for free. She had to be strategic and smart.
She dressed seductively for their date and Daniel’s eyes were all over her. The next day, he invited her to his place. She kissed him breathless, and gave him a mind-blowing blowjob. The blowjob messed up his brain and mind. He wanted all of her. She wouldn’t let him have her and he needed some honey. He kept imagining how she would taste and how she would scream his name.
When Daniel was fully hooked, she began her demands. He paid. He proved himself. And only then did she give him the honey he was dying for.
Fumi asked her man, Dayo, who she had recently started dating, that she needed money for hair. Dayo sent her 50k. She praised him like he had changed her life. He felt special, seemingly appreciated.
He told himself that Fumi deserves to be treated like a queen and that he would try and do better next time. It was his first time seeing a woman praise him that way. He told himself that she was a good girl and well brought up.
Unknown to him, Fumi was not happy. She just looked at the alert and sighed. How would she ever own a good hair when she was dating this type of man? But she had to make him feel like a king, so he could do better next time for more praises.
So next time, she demanded for money, he gave 100k. Now she had him exactly where she wanted.
Ada loved Emeka, but hated his family. She pretended to adore them, impressed them, made them her fans. She got into the mind of Emeka. He saw a true wife in her. It was his greatest wish that he married a woman who loved his family and Ada was the one.
His family pressured Emeka into marrying her. Telling him to end the delay. Emeka made the necessary arrangements and made Ada his wife.
After the wedding? The mask dropped. Visits ended. Calls stopped. She told him to choose her or his family. Emeka is now suffering in silence.
Manipulation is the power women use to survive in a world that is often hostile to them. Every girl learns it, consciously or unconsciously, because survival sometimes demands strategy.
At the end of the day, a girl just has to survive.
